I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
