1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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