Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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