awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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