I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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