So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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