oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
