So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
