You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
