sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I look better un-naked...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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