You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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