Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
