just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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