OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You ruined the universe
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
