my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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