I just saw a hot homeless man
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
