Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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