We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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