Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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