I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
