You smell like stripper and shame
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
