My boss' voice literally gives me gas
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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