Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
