MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
