Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
