Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize