I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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