We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
