So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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