Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
