I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
