You work out of a Hotel?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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