Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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