I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She said her name was "party"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
