i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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