she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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