so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
