By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
