I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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