I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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