The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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