i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
3pm strippers are depressing
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
