guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
