There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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