why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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