You just made me feel so damn special
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
