He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
