It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
