So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have feelings that need drinking.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
