I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
