why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
