Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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