Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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