No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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