Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
