so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize