I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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