its not stalking. its research.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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