Porn is love you can see.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize