A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
