This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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