New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
