Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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