so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
