what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
