i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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